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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23760619">Train Ride Home</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/FoxGlade/pseuds/FoxGlade'>FoxGlade</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Doctor Who (1963)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Father-Daughter Relationship, Gen, M/M, Male-Female Friendship, Pining, Road Trips, Team as Family, just a little. as a treat.</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-04-20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-04-28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-02 17:29:05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>15,434</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23760619</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/FoxGlade/pseuds/FoxGlade</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>The day is saved and the adventure is over, but the TARDIS is still a three-day train journey away. That's more than enough time for a few personal revelations.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Second Doctor &amp; Jamie McCrimmon &amp; Victoria Waterfield, Second Doctor/Jamie McCrimmon</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>41</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>THIS IS MY 69TH FIC AND IM PUBLISHING IT ON 4/20, AND IT HAS ABSOLUTELY NO REFERENCES TO EITHER SEX OR WEED.</p><p>this ended up being MUCH longer than intended, so its been broken into two parts so i can meet my self-imposed deadline. but its mostly complete, so the next part should be up within the week, barring me completely losing my mind and making it an extra 10k words long, which may very well happen. all inaccuracies in historical and linguistic details due to my google fails. all gallifreyan telepathic abilities mostly accurate to various canon and eu sources! and my sincerest apologies to the game of Snap.</p><p>EDIT: this fic takes place between the big finish audio Story of Extinction and serial Fury of the Deep, and borrows a lot of themes from the former (altho no familiarity w the audio is necessary for this fic)</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“We really cannot thank you enough, Doctor,” Chancellor Gax’iue said, shaking the Doctor’s hand vigorously. “With your help, we’ve ended a conflict of nearly three decades, and provided the beginnings of a scientific revolution that will fuel our economy for decades to come! And your friends, too,” he added as an afterthought, reaching out to grasp both Victoria’s and Jamie’s hands, although with less enthusiasm. Victoria returned the gesture politely, Jamie with a smile that turned to a scowl as soon as the Chancellor looked back to the Doctor. “You’re sure you cannot stay?”</p><p>“Quite sure,” the Doctor said regretfully. “Victoria has promised Prince Den’iue to say goodbye once more, but after that I’m afraid we must go. After all, with Minister Ban’due’s plans revealed and his transmat machine destroyed, there’s hardly anything left for us to do, is there?”</p><p>“You could lead our scientific team!” the Chancellor said immediately. “Ban’due’s machine is destroyed, as you say, and it will take our scientists weeks, months, perhaps years to reverse-engineer his discoveries in the field of transportation! But with you to guide them, who knows how quickly we can reach these scientific breakthroughs?”</p><p>For a moment the Doctor seemed to hesitate. “Oh, but really,” he began, but was cut off by Jamie closing the already miniscule distance between them, clutching the Doctor’s arm and almost hooking his chin over his shoulder.</p><p>“Aye, well, there’s plenty of science out there,” he said shortly. “So we’d best be getting on with it, isn’t that right, Doctor?”</p><p>“Yes, yes, quite right, Jamie,” the Doctor said. He made a move to shake the Chancellor’s hand again, but Jamie was still clutching his arm with visible force, so he turned the motion into a short wave. “Good luck, Chancellor.”</p><p>The three left, Victoria on Jamie’s right hand side, giggling a little. “What’s so funny, then?” he said crossly.</p><p>“You are!” she said through her laughter. “You’re acting like a little boy who’s had his teddy bear stolen by another child, and now won’t let go of it!”</p><p>“I don’t have a teddy bear,” Jamie said, sounding confused and grumpy, and Victoria smothered her giggles behind her hand. He scoffed and turned to the Doctor, clearly giving Victoria up as talking nonsense, and said plainly, “I still don’t trust these Galaxians--”</p><p>“Galac’dians, Jamie--”</p><p>“--aye, that. They’re a wee bit touchy, is all. It’s not right.”</p><p>“Galac’dians simply have different social standards of personal space and physical affection than you do, Jamie,” the Doctor said patiently, and rather generously, Victoria thought, considering Jamie was still hanging off of him like a clinging vine. “It’s very much normal here to touch other people often, even when you’re only acquaintances. And you seemed to like Prince Den’iue well enough.”</p><p>“Aye, well, he helped us, didn’t he,” Jamie said reluctantly. “And he took good care of Victoria.”</p><p>And, Victoria though privately, he was not nearly as interested in touching the Doctor at any given opportunity like the Chancellor was. But she liked the Prince as well; when they’d been caught in the transmat beam and brought halfway across the continent, it was his cell she’d been thrown into, while the Doctor and Jamie were taken to an entirely separate building. Even after being held hostage for weeks, he’d been sensible and level-headed, explaining to her where she was and what was happening, and once the Doctor had returned to free them, he’d been instrumental in helping them expose Minister Ban’due’s plot. </p><p>But in the three days between their arrival and their escape, Victoria had been frightened and cold, and Pince Den’iue had made her feel safe. The dark memories of her time imprisoned by the Daleks had been chased away by the sweet stories he would tell of his childhood, and his family, his loving fiancé. He had the manner of a perfect gentleman, and for all that they had only known him for three days, she found that she would miss him greatly once they left.</p><p>“Oh, I do hope we can find him before we leave,” Victoria said, suddenly saddened. The Doctor reached over and patted her shoulder comfortingly.</p><p>“I’m sure we will,” he said, just as they came around the corner and into the main reception hall. “Oh, oh dear.”</p><p>“But Doctor, there must be a hundred people here!” Victoria cried. </p><p>“More than that. This is an international event, after all. Shall we start by the dessert table?” And just like that he was off, disappearing into the crowd with Jamie in tow, Victoria only just managing to grab hold of Jamie’s sleeve before they vanished between two incredibly tall Galac’dians. </p><p>The wedding really had been beautiful, Victoria thought as they shuffled through the mass of humanoids in their best finery. It had been planned for almost five years, Prince Den’iue had told her, a great political affair meant to bring peace between the two warring nations on this planet. But at least to the prince, that had changed when he’d met his husband-to-be, Prince Brux’dei. Love at first sight, he’d confided with a grin, and Victoria had found herself smiling too, despite the strangeness of it all.</p><p>She hadn’t stopped smiling for the whole of the ceremony, either, from when the two grooms had locked eyes across the hall to when the officiant raised their clasped hands to a roar of applause. And she hadn’t once thought about how absurd it was to see two men marry, either -- only that they both looked so very happy, and so very in love.</p><p>Every new thing she saw changed the way she thought, just a little. She wondered how much she would be changed by the time she left.</p><p>Their little chain came to a stop by a long table covered in a rich, cream-coloured cloth, the fabric of which she didn’t recognise. The Doctor was scanning up and down the table, but Jamie had spied a silver tray full of tiny sandwiches and was snatching them up like they’d be taken away from him. At least some things never seemed to change, she thought fondly. </p><p>“Victoria!” she heard a familiar voice cry, and then Prince Den’iue was slipping through the crowd to stand before them, guests parting around the large golden headpiece he was still wearing. He scooped up her hands in his and squeezed them, eyes shining. “I thought you had left!”</p><p>“Of course not! I wouldn’t have gone without saying goodbye,” she said joyfully. “We just had to meet with the Chancellor.”</p><p>“You didn’t miss the ceremony, did you?” he asked.</p><p>“No, no! It was beautiful, Den’iue. I think even Jamie shed a tear,” she said, nudging his shoulder. Jamie startled, hastily swallowing a mouthful of bread.</p><p>“Hey, no I didn’t! That was the Doctor; he cried into his hanky the whole time!”</p><p>“Well, I won’t pretend I didn’t give a little sniffle,” the Doctor admitted, as if both Victoria and Jamie hadn’t watched him wipe away a near-constant stream of tears from the second the two grooms began their vows. Somehow he’d found a piece of the wedding cake and was trying it up neatly in a cloth napkin, which then disappeared into one of his pockets. “It really was quite wonderful, your Highness. I haven’t been to a wedding in so long, what was it you say to the happy couple? Blessings, was it? Or was it good tidings..? In any case, congratulations.”</p><p>“Thank you, Doctor,” Den’iue said, and he let go of Victoria’s hands to clasp at the Doctor’s for a few moments. “I really didn’t think it would happen at all, you know, before you three. I thought I’d be imprisoned all my life.”</p><p>“Well, I’m sure your people would have rescued you,” the Doctor said, rather diplomatically, as it had turned out the Prince’s government really hadn’t had any clue where Minister Ban’due had been transporting his hostages. “But we were more than happy to help.”</p><p>“And we would be more than happy to accept more of your help, should you choose to stay..?” Den’iue said hopefully, but his wistful smile as the Doctor shook his head told them he’d already known their answer.</p><p>“It’s truly been lovely, but as Jamie says,” and here he took on a teasing note, “there’s plenty of science out there, and we’d best get on with it, shouldn’t we?”</p><p>“When’d I say that?” Jamie replied, confused.</p><p>“But really, the Chancellor was kind enough to arrange transport for us on a long-distance train which should bring us back to the TARDIS. So I’m afraid we can’t stay past…” He fumbled in his pocket for a moment and brought out a delicate little watch. “Oh, dear. He said it was to depart at 4 o’clock sharply, didn’t he?”</p><p>“Yes..?”</p><p>“Then we only have twenty minutes!”</p><p>“We’ll miss it for sure!” Jamie cried. “How far is the station from here?”</p><p>“I don’t know! I wasn’t paying attention to the time -- it really was such a beautiful ceremony…”</p><p>“I could take you there,” Prince Den’iue said suddenly. When they all looked at him, he smiled mischievously. “It’s only a short walk away. And I do want to say goodbye properly.”</p><p>“But you can’t leave your own wedding!” Victoria cried. </p><p>He glanced around and said in an exaggerated whisper, “I won’t tell them if you won’t.” He laughed, and added, “Brux is entertaining our parents. He’s so bright that no one will notice my absence for a little while. Come on, before another minister insists on shaking my hand!”</p><p>
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  <br/>
</p><p>The train was just as beautiful on the inside as it had been from the platform; every surface polished and gleaming in the bright light of the afternoon sun. There were delicate electric lamps on the walls made of twisting bronze, and the lovingly carved wooden furnishings had intricate designs etched into their purple-tinged surfaces. This must be the club car, Victoria thought, although she’d never had cause to take a long-distance train before. The bar at the other end of the room rather gave it away.</p><p>They were lead through a dining area which she very much looked forward to using later, followed by a car filled with comfortable chairs, some of which were filled by Galc’dians chatting amongst themselves, before reaching a long corridor with many sliding doors. Their rooms were near the very end of the car -- or rather, room.</p><p>“I’m sorry you couldn’t be given more,” Den’iue said apologetically, glancing between them. “I’m certain that Chancellor Gax’iue obtained the best he could, but this is a very popular travel route…”</p><p>“I’m sure it will be just fine, my dear fellow,” the Doctor said, patting Den’iue’s hand. “After all, we did just spend three days in a prison cell. As long as there’s a nice, soft bed, I don’t believe any of us will complain!”</p><p>“You’ve both done more than enough for us already,” Victoria added. Den’iue shrugged.</p><p>“We cannot do more for you than you have done for my people,” he said, almost shyly. “You’re sure there isn’t anything I can give you?”</p><p>“Only your word that you’ll do the best for your people that you can,” the Doctor said. He patted Den’iue’s hand again, and Victoria squeezed his arm and said,</p><p>“Oh, and do be happy!” </p><p>“Aye,” Jamie added, “you make sure that husband of yours treats you right.” He said it jokingly, the words coming easily. Den’iue blinked, eyes becoming shiny, and quickly gathered the three of them into a hug. </p><p>“I’ll do all of these things,” he vowed, voice muffled in the Doctor’s shoulder. “And I hope you’ll all be happy, too.”</p><p>He pulled back from the hug. No tears had fallen, and he now smiled brightly at them before they all jumped suddenly at the sound of a whistle.</p><p>“So this is where we part,” he said, and leant forward to kiss each of them on the cheek. The Doctor gave a pleased smile; Victoria felt herself blush, and laughed to see Jamie also turning quite pink. “Perhaps we’ll meet again?”</p><p>“One can only hope,” the Doctor said fondly. “Go on, now!”</p><p>With one last embrace, the prince hurried to disembark the train. The Doctor then turned to his friends, hands clasped eagerly. “Well, here we are,” he said. “Shall we go in and see our home for the next few days, then?”</p><p>Their home, as it turned out, was a rather spacious but still small cabin, with a comfortable-looking couch against one wall and a desk settled under the large window, currently looking out onto the platform. Victoria rushed to this first and, finding that the glass could be unlatched and pushed open, leant her head out, just as the train jolted into motion. She pulled her handkerchief from her pocket and waved it, laughing as she finally saw Prince Den’iue, who was doing the same with his hastily untied cravat. Their eyes locked, and he smiled widely, and the two waved to each other until the platform was out of sight.</p><p>“I think it’s delightful! A bed with a ladder!”</p><p>“But Doctor, where will Victoria sleep?” She suddenly became aware of Jamie speaking loudly, and ducked her head back inside, pulling the window closed. Her friend had his arms crossed and was frowning at the Doctor, who was sitting primly on the couch, looking quite satisfied with himself.</p><p>“I’m sure she won’t mind a bit of a climb,” he said, and now Victoria frowned at him.</p><p>“A climb?” she repeated. “Whatever do you mean?”</p><p>“There’s only two beds,” Jamie explained, gesturing to the wall opposite the couch. Victoria blinked; the beds were configured strangely, both affixed to the wall, one on top of the other, with a little ladder attached to the foot of the upper bed. That bed was small, only fit for one person, while the other was twice its width. They both looked very comfortable and plush, but there were indeed just the two of them.</p><p>“I suppose this is what Prince Den’iue meant by not being able to provide more,” the Doctor mused. </p><p>“I thought he said so because he couldn’t find me my own room,” Victoria replied.</p><p>“Why would you want your own room?”</p><p>“It’s improper!” she cried. “For an unmarried girl to share a room with a man who isn’t family, it isn’t done!”</p><p>“She’s right, Doctor,” Jamie said, still with his arms folded but seemingly more out of awkwardness, now. “It’d be against her honour.”</p><p>“Oh, honestly, you two,” the Doctor grumbled. He jumped up from his seat and stood between them, clasping his hands and looking at each of them earnestly. “I would have thought you’d both have gotten over your old-fashioned social rules by now, just a little bit. No one is ruining anyone’s honour just by having a sleepover -- I rather think it will be quite fun. We’re all good friends, and they say friends are the best kind of family, anyway. So there shouldn’t be any problems, should there?”</p><p>Suddenly Victoria felt quite embarrassed, as if she’d spoken on something she thought herself to be knowledgeable in, only to be corrected. She’d felt the same way after Prince Den’iue had told her about his fiancé, when she’d expressed her confusion over how it could be possible that he was engaged to another man, only to be met with confusion in turn. It made her feel out of place and ignorant, and she’d only felt even more so when Jamie had shown none of the same confusion when they’d met again. He’d even joked at the station about Den’iue’s new husband! It felt like a petty thing to be upset over, but for all that Jamie came from a time long before her own, he seemed so much more capable of accepting and adapting to the places they went and the creatures they met and the new ideas they learned.</p><p>That certainly seemed to be the case now, as Jamie’s frown quickly smoothed out and he gave an easy shrug, saying, “Aye, alright, but there’s still only two beds, Doctor. Unless you’ve got another one of those in your pockets--”</p><p>“Oh, I don’t think that will be necessary,” the Doctor interrupted. “I don’t need to sleep nearly so much as humans do. You two take the beds. If I need a kip, this sofa will be quite good enough.”</p><p>Victoria was ready to accept this; even if it was easy to forget, she was aware that the Doctor was an alien, and this seemed a reasonable thing for an alien to do. But she saw Jamie give him a skeptical look.</p><p>“I thought you said you were tired,” he said suspiciously. </p><p>“Oh, don’t fuss, Jamie--”</p><p>“Aye, you said all you wanted was a nice, soft bed--”</p><p>“--the sofa is really very comfortable--”</p><p>“--and if you don’t sleep I know you’ll just talk my ear off--”</p><p>“--so unless you’d rather I share with you--”</p><p>“--and that’d be fine,” Jamie said, and then scrunched his face up in confusion, like he didn’t know why he’d said what he did. Victoria smothered a giggle at the look, and the Doctor clapped his hands with a smile.</p><p>“Well, that’s alright then,” he said. “Do you think they’re serving up tea in the dining car yet? Only I’m rather famished.” And he slid open the door to their cabin and was gone, just like that, leaving poor, befuddled Jamie behind.</p><p>“He’s right, you know,” Victoria said.</p><p>“Eh?”</p><p>“I haven’t had friends stay with me since I was very young,” she continued, linking their arms together. “I think it’ll be rather fun, don’t you? Maybe we can stay up and tell ghost stories!”</p><p>“Oh, aye,” Jamie said, finally catching up to the conversation. “As long as we’re all huddling up together like wee bairns…”</p><p>“Like what?”</p><p>“Like bairns,” he repeated. She looked at him blankly. “Children. Ach, I forget how English you are. Come on, maybe they have something like a proper Scottish meal on this train…”</p><p>
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</p><p>There didn’t end up being anything Jamie deemed “proper Scottish” in the dining car, but there wasn’t anything Victoria recognised as English, either. The menu had words like “roast” and “pudding” on it, but they were all proceeded by words that the TARDIS didn’t translate - local animals and fruits, the Doctor explained, before ordering on behalf of all of them. </p><p>“But I thought the TARDIS could translate anything?” Victoria asked the Doctor as they tucked into their meal. The sun was almost set now, and the delicate little wall lamps had come alight. </p><p>“In a manner of speaking,” the Doctor said. He put down his knife and fork to gesticulate as he spoke. “If what is being said has a direct translation to the language you prefer, then it translates for you. But in the case of something like this lovely meal,” here he indicated the plate of roast meat that had been brought to them, “it isn’t anything that has a word in English, so it just leaves the word as it is.”</p><p>“I see,” Victoria said slowly. “It doesn’t turn into English, because there’s no English word for it to turn into.”</p><p>“Very good. Although I could describe it with the English word ‘delicious’, I believe.”</p><p>“But wait a minute,” she continued. “Before, in the cabin, Jamie used a Scottish word, and then said that it meant ‘children’. Why didn’t I just hear that in English, if there was such a simple translation for it?”</p><p>The Doctor paused mid-mouthful, his eyebrows furrowing. “Hmm,” he hummed, and once he’d swallowed the food, said, “That’s rather a special case. A little trick of the English language, you might say. Oh, how do I explain -- yes, yes, that will do. Jamie?”</p><p>“Hmm?” Jamie looked up from where he was eating as politely as he could, possibly cowed by the air of luxury around him. </p><p>“Will you say something in Gaelic for us? A full sentence, please.”</p><p>He swallowed his food and grinned. “Aye, since you asked so pretty.” He glanced around, eyes alighting on the plate in front of him once more, and asked, “Is this not pork, then?”</p><p>Now that she was really paying attention, Victoria thought she could spot the translation circuit at work; Jamie’s accent had sounded ever so slightly different when he spoke the words, and she had the disconcerting feeling that the way he’d moved his mouth didn’t quite match the sounds she’d heard. She shuddered, and then hoped that neither of them had seen.</p><p>The Doctor at least was looking at Jamie with utmost concentration. “No, it isn’t,” he said after a few moments. </p><p>“What is it?”</p><p>“Best not to think about it.” With that he turned to his gaze to Victoria. “There, you see? You heard all that in English, didn’t you?”</p><p>“Of course,” Victoria said. And then, “Did you hear it in English too, Doctor? Or do you have a different first language?” She’d never even considered it before, but it suddenly made sense; as she’d been reminded earlier, the Doctor was an alien, and that meant he presumably had his own language and culture from the planet he was born on. Something else suddenly occurred to her, too, and she blurted out: “Do you speak English to us, or do you have your own language?”</p><p>Jamie had given up on his food by now and was also watching the Doctor. By the look on his face, Victoria gathered this was a new thought to him, too.</p><p>But the Doctor just chuckled. “No, no. My first language is very different to yours, but I’ve known English for a very long time, as well as a great deal of other Earth languages. I’ve found it’s easier to speak and think in English, when travelling with humans who do the same. So yes, if you speak to me in English, that’s what I’ll hear it as, and I’ll reply in the same.” He suddenly gave Jamie a look that was both cross and fond. “And when Jamie speaks to me in Gaelic, that’s what I hear it as, and I do my very best to reply in the same.”</p><p>“Ach, you’re doing fine,” Jamie said encouragingly as Victoria processed this. “You’re accent’s a wee bit off, but I can’t imagine you with a proper accent anyway.”</p><p>“My accent is-? I’ll have you know I am excellent at accents!”</p><p>“Oh, aye, Doktor von Wer--”</p><p>“Oh, stop it, you two!” Victoria interrupted. Usually she enjoyed watching their friendly bickering, but several new ideas were crashing around in her head at once, and she’d prefer them to help sort them out, rather than confuse her more. “Do you mean to say you two have been speaking an entirely different language this whole time, without my even knowing?”</p><p>“Certainly not the whole time,” the Doctor said. “In fact, rarely ever. I’m still learning, after all. Jamie’s been teaching me, you see -- I’ve never managed to learn any of the Celtic languages. Although if I’d known they’d be so difficult, I would have never asked!”</p><p>“He’s just sore because he’s not a genius at it, like with everything else,” Jamie whispered loudly to her. She stifled a giggle at the Doctor’s scowl.</p><p>“You’re enjoying having this to make fun of me for, aren’t you?” he said.</p><p>“Aye, maybe,” Jamie said serenely. The Doctor glared at him again, but he just grinned sunnily and took another forkful of roast meat. </p><p>“Some languages are naturally difficult to learn, and that’s not my fault,” the Doctor huffed, and then snapped his fingers, brightening suddenly. “Oh! But that’s what I was saying! English is a tricky language, one of the most difficult on Earth, you know, and not the least because it has so many <em> dialects </em>. You see, Victoria, your English and my English are very nearly the same, as I learnt the language from English folk, just a tad after your time. But Jamie has learned a very different kind of English, just as someone from, oh, Jamaica, or Singapore, or Australia would. And his English includes some words that yours doesn’t have, just as yours has a few words that his doesn’t. But since at its roots it’s still the same language…”</p><p>“The TARDIS doesn’t translate it,” Victoria finished, finally understanding. “It just assumes I know all these words, because they all count as English!”</p><p>The Doctor clapped his hands and beamed. “Exactly!” The Doctor turned to Jamie and said, “Now, would you say something in English, Jamie, with a Scots word or two in there?”</p><p>“Aye, what’s the magic word, then?” Jamie said, still grinning.</p><p>The Doctor sighed, thought for a moment, then said, “Please!” But as Victoria watched, fascinated, she saw that his mouth moved for a few moments after he spoke, and knew she was hearing the translation of a slightly longer phrase.</p><p>“Alright,” Jamie said, “but I ken you’re just gonna girn about it.”</p><p>The Doctor gave Victoria a pleased little smile. “There, you see? Perfectly understandable Scottish-English, once you learn a few words. Now, ‘ken’ means to know, and ‘girn’ means… well, it means.... What does it mean, Jamie?”</p><p>“To complain,” Jamie said smugly through his mouthful of food, and then almost spat the mess out laughing when the Doctor balled up his cloth napkin and threw it in his face, and Victoria found that she couldn’t stop laughing, either.</p><p>
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</p><p>“Do you really not speak Gaelic to anyone except the Doctor?” she asked later.</p><p>The Doctor was off exploring the train in a fit of childish energy, leaving her and Jamie to digest their meal in the little cabin that would be their home for the next two days. Jamie seemed content enough to take a nap on the lower bed, but Victoria’s mind was still ticking over from their dinner conversation.</p><p>At her question, Jamie cracked an eye open. “Aye, mostly,” he said, seemingly unconcerned. “Sometimes I’m tired, or I don’t have the right words, and something comes out Scottish. You don’t mind, do you?”</p><p>“No,” she said slowly, “only -- it seems quite lonely. To not have anyone around you who speaks your own language. I know a little French, and if suddenly I was surrounded by people who only spoke French, with no one who knew English… I think I would feel very lonely.”</p><p>Jamie had his arms behind his head, but he still somehow managed to shrug. “It’s not like we spoke it much at home. You could get nabbed, if a soldier heard you -- one of my brother’s friends got hung for asking after our athair too loudly.”</p><p>“That’s horrible!” Victoria cried. “Why would anyone do that?”</p><p>Jamie scoffed and closed his eyes. “Don’t ask me, it was you sassenachs that made the laws.”</p><p>“What?”</p><p>“Englishmen,” Jamie clarified. “Do they not still, in your time?”</p><p>“I… I don’t know,” Victoria said. She tried to remember reading anything about laws pertaining to Scotland, or anything at all, but the only thing that came to mind was a fanciful novel she’d found in her father’s library, about two star-crossed lovers eloping across the border. Not in the least bit helpful! “I don’t know, Jamie, but surely they wouldn’t! That’s barbaric! To hurt someone just because of the language they speak…”</p><p>Finally Jamie sat up, swinging his legs over the side of the bed and leaning over to where she sat on the sofa, touching her hand and saying, “Hey, don’t be upset, now.”</p><p>“But I am upset!” she cried. “Oh, Jamie, is that why you don’t speak Gaelic to me? Because I’m English?”</p><p>“No, course not!” Jamie said. He took her hands properly and squeezed them tightly. “I just don’t usually speak it at all, honest. It’s like the Doctor said -- when people talk to you in English, it’s easier to just talk back in English too, instead of translating everything in your head. When would I have the time to do that, between all the trouble we get into?” And he smiled at her until she sniffed and smiled back.</p><p>“It’s not because you think I’ll hand you over to the police?” she asked, voice stuffy with tears, and Jamie laughed.</p><p>“That’s the grand thing about the future,” he said, squeezing her hands before letting go so he could lean against the wall, arms behind his head once more and eyes to the ceiling. “No Redcoats. And anyway, if they’re letting men marry men out there now, I don’t think they’re worrying about a wee thing like who’s speaking what.”</p><p>Victoria hiccuped a laugh and wiped her face with her handkerchief. “I suppose you’re right,” she said. “It seems like we always see such awful things wherever we go, it was nice to see something beautiful. I’d never been to a wedding before…”</p><p>“Strange wedding to be your first,” Jamie snorted. Victoria frowned, and he added hastily, “But nice enough, of course.”</p><p>“They were a lovely couple,” Victoria said, almost petulantly. “They really seemed to love each other. When Prince Brux’dei saw Den’iue across the hall, I thought he was going to burst, he looked so happy. I hope my husband looks that happy to see me at our wedding.”</p><p>Jamie’s head snapped forward, eyes going wide. “Are you to be married?” he asked.</p><p>“No, don’t be silly, Jamie,” she laughed. “I only meant… you know. Don’t you ever think about the day you’ll be married?” </p><p>Jamie just looked at her as if she’d asked him to jump out the train window. “Why would I do that?” he asked, clearly bewildered. “That’s girl’s business, dreaming up romantic nonsense.”</p><p>“It’s not nonsense, it’s an important part of everyone’s life!” Victoria protested. “Surely even in your time, most people got married, didn’t they?”</p><p>“Of course!”</p><p>“Well, then why is it nonsense to think about how it might happen to you?”</p><p>Jamie shifted, looking a little uncomfortable. “Well… it just is,” he said shortly. </p><p>“So there was no one you thought you might marry?” Victoria asked. </p><p>“Och, I don’t know…” He looked very uncomfortable now, and Victoria almost ended the conversation there, but then Jamie continued, “I suppose there was -- Kirsty. Kirsty McLaren.”</p><p>“You were in love!” Victoria cried, a delighted smile springing to her face. She found herself quite glad that she’d given up the little crush on Jamie she’d been nursing a while ago, or else this news might have been devastating; as it was, all she felt was the urge to start teasing him for it immediately. “Why didn’t you say?”</p><p>But Jamie was waving his hands frantically. “No, no I wasn’t! It wasn’t like that!”</p><p>“But you just said--”</p><p>“I said I thought we might marry, aye, but only because I know my athair wanted me to. She was our Laird’s daughter, and I’d be tying our families together if I married her. And she was pretty, and clever…” he trailed off, an unhappy twist to his mouth.</p><p>“She sounds lovely,” Victoria said cautiously, unsure why Jamie was upset. Marrying for reasons of politics or social gain was a perfectly reasonable expectation in life, and to already like the person you were marrying sounded like an ideal situation. </p><p>“Well, she was,” Jamie said, “She was my friend. But I never… you know, I liked her, but… she was my friend,” he finished lamely. “You’re not supposed to marry your friend.”</p><p>Victoria looked at her friend, hanging his head and looking at his hands, and gathered her thoughts. The whole conversation had turned into something she felt was rather important, and she wanted to say exactly what she meant. “My father used to tell me, when I asked about my mother, that she was his best friend,” she said eventually. “Neither of them had studied philosophy, but they both loved to read, and he said they would spend hours arguing about Socrates and Plato, Kant and Hume.” She smiled, recalling her father’s face as he would tell these stories, and the image didn’t hurt the way it used to just months ago. “He said that the thing that drew him to her was her beauty, but the thing that wouldn’t let him go was her mind. Everyone tells me that I have a privileged position in life, that I will certainly find a man of high-standing and wealth to marry, but… but I think it would be lovely to marry a friend. To spend your life with someone who you could really talk to, and laugh with, not just be dutiful towards. To have someone you really, truly cared for by your side, forever.”</p><p>As she spoke, Jamie’s face had gone from a sweet smile to an expression that puzzled her. He seemed shocked, almost, or maybe -- embarrassed? His cheeks were pink, but his eyes were wide, like something had spooked him. “Does that make sense?” Victoria asked, and then perhaps a little cheekily, “Or is this is all just more silly, romantic nonsense?”</p><p>Jamie seemed to come out of his trance then, shaking his head, but his strange expression remained. “No,” he said, then coughed roughly. “No, I -- it’s not nonsense. I hope you find a friend like that, Victoria.”</p><p>“Thank you, Jamie,” she said. “I hope Kirsty can be that to you.”</p><p>He shot to his feet suddenly, startling her. “Oh, aye, Kirsty,” he said, clearly flustered over something. “I’m -- I think I’ll take a walk. Up the train, I mean.”</p><p>“Oh,” Victoria said, taken aback. “Alright, then. Oh, if you see the Doctor--”</p><p>But he’d already fled, the sliding door banging shut behind him as he ran.</p><p>
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</p><p>Neither Jamie nor the Doctor reappeared within the next hour, even after Victoria had spent a good ten minutes walking the four elongated cars of the train. She supposed either one of them might be hiding in the kitchen, or even the inaccessible baggage compartment behind that, but at her description of the two men, the staff just shrugged. </p><p>"There was a funny little fellow who came by and asked for a sandwich, but that was a while ago now," one of the kitchen hands said apologetically. "Sorry, miss."</p><p>It was fully dark now, the landscape outside hidden by the cover of night. Victoria sighed as she made her way through the sleeping car, counting the doors until theirs. Honestly, it would be just like them to get into trouble on a simple train ride...</p><p>A noise came suddenly -- like a doorknob rattling. But the doors were all sliding, here, with simple latches. She glanced around nervously. Suddenly the idea of trouble finding them wasn't quite so funny when it was happening to her!</p><p>The sound came again, and then the end of the corridor opened up into a doorway, and in that doorway stood the Doctor, who beamed when he saw her.</p><p>"Ah, Victoria!" he said. Victoria clutched her chest.</p><p>"Doctor!" she cried. "You scared me!"</p><p>"Oh, I do apologise, Victoria. There's nothing to fear; just this silly old man, I assure you."</p><p>"Just as well," she said. "I was getting ready to scream for my life!"</p><p>"No need for that, my dear. Come along out here, will you?"</p><p>She looked uncertainly at the doorway. There was nothing behind the Doctor, just the blackness of the night. "Out where?" she asked. "Isn't this the last carriage on the train?"</p><p>"Yes, but they've built something special out here. I overheard the kitchen staff discussing it, but I don't think the other passengers know. Or at least, no one's come knocking since I've been out here. Come and see!"</p><p>Victoria walked to the doorway. The light of the corridor didn't reach to the outside, and the Doctor held his hand out like a magician about to perform a trick with an audience volunteer. She eyed him nervously.</p><p>"Do you trust me, Victoria?" the Doctor asked gently.</p><p>"Yes," Victoria said, and then more firmly, "Yes, I trust you." And she took his hand and let him lead her outside.</p><p>At first she felt as if she were standing on a cliff above the ocean, with wind whipping around her and the roar of the train's wheels like crashing waves beneath them. She stumbled forward, vertigo lurching in her stomach, and caught herself on a railing almost at once, still clutching the Doctor's hand in one of her own. She heard the door shut behind them and the darkness became absolute. But the Doctor didn't say anything, so neither did she, breathing through the discomfort until her eyes began to adjust.</p><p>They were on a small platform of sorts, hung off the back of the train and built in sturdy metal. It felt very solid beneath her feet, as did the railing, which did a lot to ease the queasy feeling in her belly. In fact, after a few minutes, the whole thing was looking like a perfect little hide-away, although rather cold, and she smiled at the Doctor.</p><p>He smiled too, clearly pleased with himself, then pointed upwards wordlessly. Victoria followed his gaze upwards and gasped. </p><p>There were so many stars it took her breath away, brighter and more numerous than she'd ever seen before, and all in such an unfamiliar pattern that she felt she could look for days and never find a constellation anything like those she'd learned about in her astronomy books. "It's beautiful!" she murmured.</p><p>"Yes, I've been looking for a while now," the Doctor said. "This planet has such a low industrial output that atmospheric pollution is almost non-existent. Which, as you can see, makes for some excellent stargazing."</p><p>He sat himself on the ground, leaning back against the railing and patting the space next to him. Victoria smoothed her skirt and sat too, cosying up to his side, grateful to be squished between the wall of the train and his bulky coat, sheltered from the worst of the wind.</p><p>"Can we see the Earth from here?" she asked him. He hummed.</p><p>"Oh, well, not the Earth, I'm afraid. But if I'm right -- and I usually am…" He squinted up at the sky for a moment and then pointed with the arm butting up against Victoria's. "There. Do you see that yellow star, next to the trio of blue stars? It's very small."</p><p>She followed the line of his finger, eyes darting around until he found the star he was describing. "What star is that, Doctor?"</p><p>"It's the sun, Victoria," the Doctor said. "Your sun."</p><p>She almost couldn't understand what he was saying at first. "The sun?" she repeated. "But… but it's so small!"</p><p>"Yes, it is," he said gently. "It's millions and millions of miles away. Rather humbling, don't you think?"</p><p>She leaned further into his side, suddenly feeling very small indeed. "I don't think I like feeling humbled," she said quietly. Beside her, the Doctor shifted so that he could put his arm around her shoulder, tucking her in close, and she felt better instantly, like when her father would come into her room and chase away a nightmare.</p><p>"No," the Doctor said, equally quiet. "No, I don't like it either."</p><p>They sat in silence for a while, both watching the stars wheel above them, the noise of the wind and the train fading into the background.</p><p>"It's very easy to feel lonely, travelling with you," Victoria said, half-hoping the Doctor wouldn't hear her over the noise. "Knowing that no one speaks the same language as you. Knowing that home is so very far away. I don't think Jamie feels the same."</p><p>For a few moments, the Doctor didn’t answer, and she thought her words had indeed been lost to the wind. But then she heard him speak.</p><p>"Why would you think he doesn't feel the same?" he asked. "He's as human as you are. Although I can assure you," and now he spoke wryly, "that feeling lonely in the vastness of space is hardly limited to humans."</p><p>For a moment she almost told him of what she’d thought earlier, about how Jamie so quickly accepted things in a way she didn’t think she could ever learn to do. How easily he seemed to make himself at home in strange places with strange folks in the same way the Doctor did, while she looked on and felt further from home than ever before. But the words seemed heavy and clumsy when she tried to organise them into speech, so instead she simply said, “Well, because he has you.”</p><p>He gave her a very fond look, squeezing her shoulders. “You have us, too, Victoria,” he said, ever so softly. "And I'm afraid I'm not as infallible as you believe. Yes, I feel lonely, sometimes. Not often, now, but sometimes…" </p><p>He pointed up to the sky again, but a long way from where the sun was. "You can see the sun of my homeworld from here too, you know. Suns, rather. Those two red dots, can you see?"</p><p>She peered into the sky, but eventually shook her head. "No, I don't think I can."</p><p>"Hmm. Maybe I'm just imagining them." He looked suddenly very tired and terribly sad in that moment, and Victoria couldn't help resting her head on his shoulder, curling in close. “Do you remember, I told you that our lives are not like anyone else’s? The things we do bring such a capacity for loneliness, yes, but they also bring more connection and joy than I believe any human in your time could achieve. And to me, that makes these lonely moments worth it. But…” He hesitated, and she closed her eyes, not wanting to see the look on his face as he did so. “But it’s not worth it to everyone. Some people would rather return to the lives they lived, or strike out into a new life. It’s not wrong, or a failure of any kind, simply the way of things.”</p><p>She felt a gentle hand on her chin, and opened her eyes to the Doctor lifting her head up, meeting her eyes with drawn eyebrows and a downturned mouth. “You didn’t choose to come with us,” he said. “Or, rather, you had nowhere to go except with us. But that doesn’t have to be the case forever. If you’re unhappy…”</p><p>“I’m not unhappy!” she protested, but she could feel the tears building behind her eyes. “Oh, please believe me, Doctor, I’m not unhappy.”</p><p>He smiled sadly. “But you do get frightened, yes? And lonely?”<br/>She thought of the long days in the prison cell. Knowing that the Doctor would come back for her, but not knowing what would happen to her before then. “Sometimes,” she said softly. “Being locked away like we were, that frightens me, Doctor. Don’t think too badly of me?”</p><p>All of a sudden, he looked completely and utterly heartbroken, like a dog that had been kicked by its beloved master. “No,” he whispered. “No, I don’t think I ever could.” And he drew her to him again, tightening his arm around her in a hug she gladly fell into, curling up against his chest and hiding her face in his shoulder. “No, I never could, my dear, no matter what.”</p><p>
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</p><p>The cabin was dark when she crept quietly back inside, still wiping away tears, but in the moonlight coming through the window, Victoria could see that Jamie had snuck in while she was gone. He was tucked underneath the blanket of the lower bed, back to her, silent and still.</p><p>“Jamie?” she whispered. “Are you awake?”</p><p>There was no answer. Just the gentle sound of his breathing.</p><p>“Well, if you are, don’t look, because I’m changing clothes,” she said. No reaction. Satisfied, she struggled quickly out of her dress, rummaging through the little bag they’d given her at the palace to hold the dress she’d been wearing when they’d arrived, freshly laundered after their days in captivity. It wasn’t entirely suitable for sleeping, but it was certainly better than the much fancier dress they’d provided for the wedding.</p><p>Jamie didn’t move an inch the entire time, even as she climbed the ladder up to the top bed, settling in. After a moment, she leaned over the side cautiously. She couldn’t see Jamie’s face, but something about the way he was curled up under his blankets made her think that if he was asleep, it wasn’t the sleep of the peaceful.</p><p>“I’m sorry if I upset you, before,” she said quietly. “I didn’t mean to. I think I’m beginning to realise how different we are, you know.”</p><p>Silence. Maybe his breath changed a little, a hitch in it where there wasn’t one before, but maybe she was just imagining things.</p><p>“But things will look better in the morning, I’m sure of it. Goodnight, Jamie.”</p><p>She pulled the blankets around her and settled her head on the pillow. She remembered her father telling her that after a nightmare -- or had it been the Doctor?</p><p>The two blurred in her mind as she drifted off to sleep.</p>
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<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Victoria awoke to bright sunshine streaming through the window of their cabin, a wonderful smell in her nose, and a cheerful voice saying, “Come on, wake up, you two! We have quite a day ahead of us!”</p><p>She pulled the blanket up to her chin and rolled onto her side, peering through the railings on the edge of the bed. The Doctor was standing in the middle of the room, beaming with delight and balancing three plates of food on his arms, like a waiter from a restaurant with a particularly lax dress code.</p><p>“Come down from there and sit with us, will you Victoria? Yes, there’s a girl. Jamie, do wake up.” Victoria peered through the rungs of the ladder as she carefully climbed down. At some point Jamie had uncurled from the tight ball he’d been sleeping in, and now he was sprawled across the bed as if in defiance of whatever misery had seemed to grip him during the night.</p><p>“Oh, let him sleep,” she said playfully. “I’m sure he doesn’t want any food.”</p><p>Immediately he stirred, cracking open one eye. “Food?” he mumbled. The Doctor gave Victoria an exasperated look.</p><p>“He’s rather easy to please, isn’t he,” he said. “Yes, I got us all some food. I thought we might like to get started on our sleepover now, since we, ah, we didn’t last night.” He looked a little embarrassed -- Victoria wondered if he’d spent the whole of last night sitting out on the platform behind the train, looking up at the stars. She hoped he hadn’t. “We’ve more than earned a little luxury by now, so I figured a breakfast in bed would do quite nicely to start us off. Budge up, Jamie.”</p><p>Jamie just blinked at him sleepily, presumably still stuck in dreams of food. Not to be deterred, the Doctor simply scrambled up onto the bed and took him by the shoulder, hauling him upright with one hand and stacking the pillows behind him with the other. By the time he was finished, Jamie looked much more awake, and much more confused. “There. I’ve brought you some breakfast, are you awake enough to eat?”</p><p>Jamie blinked a few more times. “I don’t know,” he said, thoroughly bewildered. “I might still be dreaming.”</p><p>The Doctor smiled and patted his cheek fondly. “Sometimes real life can be just as nice. Victoria, bring those plates over, will you? And bring yourself, too, there’s plenty of room.” </p><p>Giving a fond smile of her own, Victoria took one of the plates and passed it to the Doctor as he settled with his back to the wall, legs piled over Jamie’s, then carefully carried the other two over to the bed. Jamie still looked a little out-of-sorts, but he was all too happy to take the plate from her, and was already tearing into it before Victoria had even settled in place next to the Doctor. Easy to please indeed!</p><p>“Do you know what it is?” she asked the Doctor curiously, picking at her own food. It almost looked like a pancake, a bread-like circle with slivers of cold meats and fruits piled to one side. “Or won’t it translate?”</p><p>“Unfortunately not,” the Doctor replied. He was arranging his food with great concentration, laying the meats and fruits in a neat line along the bread, and Victoria hesitantly began to copy him. Jamie, of course, was simply tearing strips off the bread and eating it piece by piece with handfuls of the accompaniments. “But there are similar concepts on Earth. I don’t suppose you’re familiar with gyros, or doner kebab..?” She shook her head. “Ah, no, I shouldn't think so. Londoners will be quite mad about them in a century or two’s time, but no matter. I suppose you could think of it as a sort of crepe.”</p><p>“Oh!” Now that she looked at it, she could see the idea of it. “I’ve never seen one with fruit and meat together,” she said slowly. “I’ve had them before, of course, but only with sugar, and a little lemon squeezed over the top.”</p><p>“I’m sure you’ll find this just as tasty,” the Doctor advised her. He rolled up his bread in a few quick movements and lifted it to his mouth, only to frown as half the fillings fell out of each end. “Oh dear. Not the most structurally sound creation, I’m afraid.”</p><p>Victoria stared at her own plate, wondering how to go about eating it. Maybe she should just follow Jamie’s example and go piece by piece with her hands? She looked over at him, only to find him contentedly licking his fingers, plate clean.</p><p>“You’ve finished already?” she cried.</p><p>“I was hungry,” he said defensively. “And it didn’t taste half bad. Sort of like that wee dish they made in the fire pots on Entusso, Doctor, but without the gravy.”</p><p>“Is it really? Good gracious,” the Doctor said mildly, and without further ado gave up on his work, tearing strips off the bread and using them to pick up slices of meat and fruit, just as Jamie had done. </p><p>“You didn’t bring any cutlery, did you?” Victoria asked him. He just smiled and shrugged innocently.</p><p>“Are you gonna eat it, then?” Jamie said, eyeing her plate. “Because I’m still a bit peckish…”</p><p>“Of course you are,” Victoria sighed, resigning herself to eating with her fingers like a child. But she couldn’t help but feel a little thrill at the whole thing, the three of them crowded on the same bed, eating impolitely and talking with their mouths full. It was all very childish, in a way she hadn’t been allowed to be for a while now, and she smiled even as her fingers were stained with the juice from the little red berries. Maybe they would even get to tell those ghost stories, after all.</p><p>
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</p><p>As Victoria quickly realised, the Doctor’s excited plans for the day didn’t actually amount to very much at all. “I’m afraid I wasn’t quite prepared for a road trip,” he admitted once they’d put away their plates. Victoria exchanged a confused glance with Jamie at the term, but the Doctor continued, “If I’d known, I would have brought some board games. Or at the very least more books.” He rifled morosely through his pockets, drawing out all sorts of strange items. “I’m sure I have a few in here somewhere… oh, here, Jamie, didn’t you give me this?”</p><p>Jamie took the little round object and held it up to examine it. “I don’t even know what it is,” he said.</p><p>“It looks like a bandalore!” Victoria said, surprised. “My father had one, but he could never get the hang of it.”</p><p>“This is a little different to the bandalore you know, Victoria,” the Doctor said, taking it back from Jamie and fiddling with the string. “It’s called a yo-yo, and it looks to be from, oh…” He tapped his finger on the disc and then, bizarrely, licked it. “Late twentieth century Earth. The eighties, I think, or perhaps the seventies. They’re very easy to confuse. It’s made of plastic, you see? And you can do all sorts of tricks with it now!” </p><p>He shuffled off the bed and stood with a look of utmost concentration. “You just have to -- use the correct amount of force--” He threw the little disc down, where it bounced once on its string and then dangled limply. “Ah. Well, I used to be able to do this.”</p><p>“What’s it supposed to do, then?” Jamie asked Victoria.</p><p>“You throw the little disc out, and at the last second, you give it a tug and it flies right back into your hand,” she explained. “Is this what it does now?”</p><p>“Doesn’t seem like much of a trick to me,” Jamie said doubtfully.</p><p>“I can do a great many tricks with it!” the Doctor insisted, glaring at the uncooperative little toy. “I learnt from the great Yo-Yo Man of Clom! Which is about all that planet is good for, I daresay.”</p><p>“Oh, aye, him,” Jamie said with a grin. “Show us a trick, then!”</p><p>The Doctor shifted his glare from the yo-yo to Jamie, which only made his grin wider.</p><p>“I’ll show you a trick,” he muttered, “a trick that will confound your primitive little mind!” He braced his feet, muttered furiously to himself, then pulled his arm back and pushed his hand suddenly forward, palm down.</p><p>The yo-yo did seem to spin in place for a moment, and the Doctor’s face lit up, only to fall dramatically as it gave a little bounce and then began swinging around like a rock on a string.</p><p>He looked so comically upset that Victoria couldn’t help giggle, but it was lost in Jamie’s outright laughter. “Och, stop it, my poor primitive mind,” he said, clutching his face as if in pain. “I can’t take how clever you look!”</p><p>For a moment, Victoria thought the Doctor might start yelling at Jamie, and hunched her shoulders nervously. But instead, a small smile broke of his face, and he said, “Alright, I suppose I earned that.”</p><p>“No, I’m not done being confounded yet,” Jamie said, still laughing. “Daft wee man.” He pushed himself off the bed to stand close to the Doctor, patting his shoulder before holding out a hand. “Here, let me try.”</p><p>“It’s not as simple as it looks,” the Doctor warned him. He removed the string from his finger and took Jamie’s offered hand. “But, ah, we do have plenty of time to figure it out.” He tied a simple little knot around Jamie’s finger, and then patted it gently and let go. </p><p>Jamie didn’t say anything for a moment. He had a strange look on his face -- his smile had faded a little, and his eyes were wide, watching the Doctor’s face intently. Not unlike the strange expression he’d worn after their conversation last night, Victoria thought, puzzled. If whatever queer mood had gripped him last night was still plaguing him --</p><p>But he shook it off, grinning as he wound the string around the yo-yo. “Aye, we do,” he said, “but it seems easy enough.” He took a moment to feel the weight of the disc in his hand, and then suddenly threw it away from him like it was a shotput.</p><p>The yo-yo, of course, immediately bounced back on the string and smacked him in the chest. He flinched away, and then looked annoyed at himself for doing so, and even more annoyed at the Doctor for his chuckling. </p><p>“Easy enough, is it?” the Doctor said.</p><p>“Whisht, you,” Jamie grumbled.</p><p>With a smug smile, the Doctor came and sat next to Victoria again and promptly returned to digging through his pockets. Victoria watched Jamie attempt another few throws of the yo-yo without much success before turning back to the Doctor.</p><p>“You seem to be carrying a lot, even without board games,” she remarked. He was pulling out technological devices she couldn’t hope to recognise right along things like paper bags full of sweets, a simple paperback book and what looked like a large jewel. “How does it all fit?”</p><p>“How do you think?” the Doctor replied. He was almost up to his elbow in one of his coat pockets now, which didn’t look right at all. She tilted her head and thought of how it seemed familiar, then lit up as the answer came almost immediately.</p><p>“They’re like the TARDIS!” she said happily. “They’re bigger on the inside! But how can that be?”</p><p>“Well, how can the TARDIS be bigger on the inside, hmm?” the Doctor said. He looked pleased at her quick reply, and she glowed with pride. “My people are quite adept with the technology now. For a thing so large as the TARDIS, a fairly robust dimensional stabiliser is needed, but even that’s only the size of, oh, perhaps an egg timer. These pockets need hardly any encouragement -- just a little stabiliser, sewn into the seams.” He pulled his hand back out and fumbled at the lining for a moment, turning the seam up so Victoria could see the little red light blinking through the fabric. </p><p>“That seems awfully handy,” she said, and he smiled.</p><p>“It has come in useful just the once or twice,” he said. “Oh! Hold on a moment, Victoria, I think I was just about to find…” He dove back into the pocket, and after a moment, emerged with a triumphant ‘a-ha!’ and holding a deck of playing cards. “Yes, this shall help us pass the time quite well, don’t you think?"</p><p>“There we go!” Jamie suddenly shouted, making them both jump. When Victoria looked over, he was gently lifting and lowering his hand while the little yo-yo seemed to climb up and down its string, spinning endlessly with no regard to gravity. He gave his own little triumphant grin at them both and said, “Like I said. Easy enough.”</p><p>“Oh, that’s marvellous!” Victoria said, clapping politely.</p><p>“How..?” the Doctor started, but shook his head at once. “Well. Perhaps this is another one of those things you can teach me, Jamie.”</p><p>“Aye, just call me the Yo-Yo Man of the Highlands,” Jamie replied, right before the yo-yo jerked on its string and fell into a simple pendulum motion once more. “...But maybe later. Just so I can get a proper hang of it, mind.”</p><p>“Of course,” the Doctor said, clearly trying not to smile. He turned back to Victoria as Jamie began winding up the string once more. “Now, you wouldn’t happen to know how to play Old Maid, would you?”</p><p>
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</p><p>One game of Old Maid stretched into two, and then three, and then half of a fourth game before the Doctor threw his cards down in a huff and declared her the winner. </p><p>“It’s all just a game of luck,” he insisted. “Although I’m not sure why my luck was quite that terrible.”</p><p>“Perhaps you’re destined to be an old maid,” Victoria suggested teasingly. “That’s what they say about the game, anyway.”</p><p>“Nonsense. I’ll be young forever,” the Doctor sniffed. Over on the sofa, Jamie snorted as he re-wound the yo-yo string for the thousandth time. “Oh? What was that for, Yo-Yo Highlander?”</p><p>“I didn’t say anything,” Jamie said innocently. </p><p>“I’m sure four hundred and fifty is very young, for an alien,” Victoria said, schooling her face into nonchalance. The Doctor huffed.</p><p>“Well, I’m no old maid just yet,” he grumbled. “So let’s play something else. Jamie, are you finished with that, or are there more yo-yo secrets you’ve yet to discover?”</p><p>“It’s not like you’d know if there was,” Jamie replied cheekily, but he put the toy down on the desk and joined the two where they were sitting on the bed. “What’s the game, then? Because I’ve never been any good at Maw.”</p><p>“No, we’ll play something simple,” the Doctor said, tapping a finger to his chin in thought. “We don’t have the right cards for Uno… Oh! Snap!” And he snapped his fingers and grinned.</p><p>“What is it?” Victoria asked. </p><p>“No, the game of Snap! It’s very simple.” He began to collect up all the cards and shuffle them, looking excited. “It’s a children’s game on, on my planet, one meant to begin training telepathic control.” His excitement faltered for a moment, and he looked almost embarrassed as he added, “And, ah, I suppose teenagers play it as a sort of, well. A flirting game. But,” he hurried on, “as neither of you possess telepathic abilities, that element will thankfully not be present.”</p><p>“Telepathic?” Victoria asked doubtfully. She’d heard of psychics before, and had seen the Doctor hypnotise creatures, but she was hardly a child. Even sitting in a train on an alien world, mind-reading seemed too far-fetched for her to believe.</p><p>“How do you flirt with a card game?” Jamie asked simultaneously. As if that was the most astounding part of what they’d just heard!</p><p>The Doctor, still looking embarrassed, began to deal the cards, perhaps just for something to do with his hands. “Hmm. Well, I suppose I can answer you both. Yes, my species has something of a natural affinity towards mental connection. Mostly with each other, of course, although theoretically we can connect with most living creatures. And no, Victoria,” he gave her a stern look, “it’s not the mind-reading of Earth charlatans. Merely another sense that we have.”</p><p>“A sense?” Victoria asked. “Like hearing?”</p><p>“Yes, exactly so. When you hear someone’s voice, you can also see them, and smell them, and touch them, if you choose. And all of these things make up your mind’s image of the person before you, but to a Time Lord, this image is incomplete without our sense of telepathy, too.”</p><p>“So you <em> can </em>read thoughts!” Jamie accused.</p><p>“No! Or -- yes, but I don’t!” the Doctor said, flustered. “It’s just… oh, it doesn’t translate into English! I can’t sense what a person is thinking, just the <em> way </em>they think, the shape of their emotions. It’s the same to me as how someone looks, or what their voice sounds like. I can recognise people by it, but it doesn’t really tell me anything about them.”</p><p>“Like an aura?” Victoria asked. The Doctor was right -- his words didn’t seem quite right, clearly not carrying the meaning they would in whatever language they came from.</p><p>But he smiled hesitantly at her words. “Yes, somewhat like an aura,” he said. Seeing Jamie’s confusion, he said, “An Earth idea, that psychics and mediums can see a cloud around people that changes colour with their emotions. I’m afraid my senses aren’t so colourful,” he added ruefully.</p><p>But Jamie had gone from confused to wary again. “So you can see what we’re feeling?” he said. He crossed his arms over his chest, and almost looked -- nervous?</p><p>“Not entirely,” the Doctor assured him. “Just… echoes, of a sort. Of very strong feelings. And I don’t tend to pay them much mind, really. Remember, this is just another sense, like, oh, like smell. You only notice someone’s smell if it’s very strong, don’t you? Or if it’s very pleasant. But it doesn’t tell you much about the person, usually, and most of the time you just ignore it out of politeness.” </p><p>Victoria couldn’t help but giggle at the face he pulled as he said this, and he beamed at her before picking up his cards. “And besides, that’s why we learn telepathic control at such a young age,” he said. “To avoid any, ah, awkward intrusions. It’s considered very improper to connect with someone on more than a surface level, except in, ah, specific circumstances.”</p><p>“Like when you’re courting?” Victoria asked, picking up her own cards. “Only you haven't explained how the game is used for flirting…”</p><p>“Ah. I haven't, have I.” He looked rather like he regretted mentioning it at all, but continued nonetheless. “The game is simple enough. We just go around in a circle, each putting down a card without looking at our hands.” He placed a card face up -- the three of clubs -- and then gestured for Victoria to do the same. She put down the nine of hearts and then looked to Jamie, who was still frowning into the distance. </p><p>“Jamie?” she said gently. This seemed to startle him back into awareness, and he looked sheepishly at the scene.</p><p>“Aye, right. Cards.” He put his own card down -- the king of clubs. The Doctor continued,</p><p>“And then we just go around again and again, until we get two cards with matching numbers.”</p><p>They’d each put down another two cards before the Doctor placed a five of hearts on top of Jamie’s five of spades. “Snap!” he announced, and slapped his hand onto the deck, making both her and Jamie jump. The Doctor beamed and raked the deck towards him, shuffling the cards into his hand. “There, you see? It’s a game of reflexes. You see a matched pair, and the quickest one to say ‘snap’ gets to keep the cards below it, and the last person to run out of cards wins!”</p><p>“Why’d you need telepathy for that, then?” Jamie asked. “You can’t read our minds to see what card is about to pop up if we don’t know either!”</p><p>“It’s not very romantic,” Victoria said with a frown.</p><p>“No, I suppose not,” the Doctor sighed. “Romance is not a very common idea on Gallifrey. But this is just the children’s version, Jamie, meant to lead into the training version, which uses telepathy. You see, the proper version takes place only in the mind -- two players each envision a predetermined pattern of cards and run through them in their minds, while at the same time, try and reach out to see what the other player is thinking. And if you manage to see the other person’s cards when they match yours, you call out ‘snap’! It teaches you to keep your thoughts from straying into the surface level that everyone can read, you see?”</p><p>Victoria considered all of this. “Not really,” she said, and put down a card. The eight of hearts.</p><p>“Sounds more like how to drive someone mad, not make them want to kiss you,” Jamie said. He put down the two of hearts, but didn't even glance at it.</p><p>“The two tend to go hand-in-hand, when you’re a teenager,” the Doctor said wistfully. Jamie looked at him askance. “Connecting with someone on a mental level, it’s… well. To use another analogy, playing the game with a friend as a teenager is a bit like making up excuses to hold hands. Innocent enough, but exciting when it’s with someone you’d, ah, like to be closer to.”</p><p>“You never did that, though,” Jamie said uncertainly, eyebrows furrowing.</p><p>“I did, in fact,” the Doctor said brightly, seemingly unaware of Jamie’s growing frown. “I remember I’d convince my friend Koschei to play during our lectures at the Academy, when we began there. We’d poke each other in the ribs instead of saying ‘snap’, so the teachers wouldn’t catch us.” He frowned suddenly. “Which I suppose was a rather literal excuse to touch each other, too. Oh dear. You know, he always said I was shameless. I’m beginning to fear he was right.” He put down a card, now unaware of both Jamie’s heavy frown and Victoria’s surprised expression, and then slapped the deck with a grin. “Snap!”</p><p>“But you -- I didn’t know,” Victoria said, flustered despite herself. She'd never thought of the Doctor as having any romantic inclinations at all, let alone towards other men, and she found herself caught between her instinctual disapproval and her newly learned acceptance, struggling for a moment to formulate a response. </p><p>“That I was a terrible flirt in my youth? I’d certainly hope not,” the Doctor replied. “I hope that isn’t too, ah, improper for you.”</p><p>He looked almost nervous, Victoria realised, not quite meeting her eyes and shuffling the cards in his hands for longer than surely necessary. Was he worried she might react poorly, like she’d done at first with Den’iue? Her old instincts fell away, and she smiled warmly. “You know, ‘improper’ would’ve been the kindest thing said about Prince Den’iue’s wedding by anyone I knew at home, but it was the most wonderful thing I’d seen in ages,” she said, deliberately light as she placed another card down from her hand. “It’s improper for me to be sharing this room with you two, but I’ve only had fun so far. I think I’m beginning to like improper things very much!”</p><p>The Doctor gave her that proud smile again. “I rather agree,” he said. “Don’t you, Jamie?”</p><p>“Hmm? Oh, aye, wonderful,” Jamie said sullenly. Victoria rolled her eyes. It was just like him to ruin such a nice moment by not paying any attention! “Who’s this Koschei?”</p><p>“Oh.” At once, the Doctor’s demeanour had turned nervous again. “Ah, no one, really. Just… someone I used to know.” He frowned and added. “Someone whom I shall hopefully never see again.”</p><p>Jamie’s frown faded at this, as if the Doctor had just eased some confusion or fear. “Och, well. That’s fine, then.”</p><p>“What’s fine?” Victoria asked instantly, curious about this odd reply. </p><p>Jamie seemed to realise it was odd, too, as he opened and closed his mouth once, and then said, “I still don’t understand this game,” as he threw a card onto the pile.</p><p>Predictably, this set the Doctor off explaining the premise again, even more long-winded this time, although Victoria didn’t mind; she was using the time to quietly get her thoughts in order. It felt as if she was learning more about the Doctor, and indeed Jamie too, during this peaceful little journey than she had in the weeks they’d been fighting monsters and saving civilisations together. She wondered how much more she could learn before she left.</p><p>
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</p><p>They played Snap until Victoria complained of having her hand slapped too many times, after which she took one of the novels excavated from the Doctor’s pockets and went to sit on the sofa, far from where the card game had turned suddenly vicious. Jamie had gotten the hang of it much quicker than he’d implied, and it seemed that now they weren’t being somewhat gentle for Victoria’s sake, he and the Doctor were free to play as fast and as violently as they wished.</p><p>“I’m going to go sit outside if you can’t behave,” she scolded them after a particularly loud shout of “SNAP!” </p><p>“It’s him who’s not behaving!” Jamie insisted. “Look at this, I won fair as anything, he won’t let go!”</p><p>“My hand is clearly on the cards! Don’t be sore just because human reflexes are naturally slower,” the Doctor huffed.</p><p>“Oh, my reflexes are slower? That’s why you can’t even do a wee yo-yo trick--”</p><p>“Don’t think you can distract me, I said ‘snap’ first, so let <em> go!” </em></p><p>Victoria peered over the top of her book. They were glaring at each other over the pile of cards, both clutching at the deck with their fingers entangled.</p><p>“Victoria, tell him I got here first!” Jamie demanded. He tried to yank the cards towards him, only for the Doctor to put his other hand on top of the whole lot and pull it back.</p><p>“I think Jamie’s right,” she said. Jamie let out a triumphant sound and poked the Doctor’s chest with his free hand. “Not about who won, about this game driving people mad! I don’t know if I’ve ever seen you two so angry at each other!”</p><p>That made them both look at her, expressions instantly turning bemused. “Course I’m not angry at him,” Jamie said. “It’s just a card game. Why’d you think I’d be angry?”</p><p>She blinked at him, and then stammered, “You’re -- you were yelling at each other, just a moment ago!”</p><p>“Aye, well, sometimes that’s just how we talk,” Jamie replied. He turned back to the Doctor and asked, “You’re not really angry with me, are you?”</p><p>“What? My word, no,” the Doctor said. He leaned forward and put a hand on Jamie’s knee, patting it absently. “No, no, just my, ah, competitive spirit getting away from me. Good gracious, I don’t think I could ever be angry at you, really.”</p><p>“Oh, aye? So when I accidentally flooded the TARDIS kitchen last week--”</p><p>“Well, you could have been more careful with the taps--”</p><p>“And when we all got locked out of the console room for a day--”</p><p>“I told you three times not to touch the exposed wiring in the corridor!”</p><p>Jamie rolled his eyes and made a ‘you see?’ gesture at Victoria, who hid her smile behind her book. </p><p>They did eventually tire of the game, coincidentally right after Victoria threatened to leave if they didn’t keep the shouting to a minimum. She was getting quite engrossed in the novel, a thrilling tale of a murder investigation written by someone called Agatha Christie, and she’d rather not be jolted out of her reading every few minutes by excited yelling. The Doctor joined her in reading, although he chose a larger book with ‘500 Year Diary’ embossed on the front cover, and muttered constantly to himself as he flicked through the pages. Jamie on the other hand had found a small, colourful egg-shaped device amongst the debris and was playing some sort of game with it, the tip of his tongue poking out.</p><p>“There’s this wee creature inside it,” he explained, showing Victoria the tiny screen embedded in the plastic. It had a moving image on it that might, if she were to be imaginative about things, look like a mouse. It had little black dots for eyes and a wide smile, and was bouncing up and down in place. “I have to feed it and clean up after it, and make it play games.”</p><p>“Why?” she asked, bewildered. He gave her an affronted look.</p><p>“I can’t let the poor thing starve, can I?” he said defensively.</p><p>She'd thought that Jamie would start to chafe in their inactivity, but after taking lunch in their cabin, eating on the bed like they had at breakfast, he seemed perfectly content to sit on the desk and stare out the window at the countryside as it rolled by, forehead against the glass, lost in thought. His expression matched the peaceful, almost dream-like mood that had gripped the cabin; it had been so long since she’d had the chance to simply exist in a safe and peaceful environment that it felt almost unreal to do so, and she found her attention drifting from her novel, gaze wandering across the room.</p><p>The Doctor, of course, was as energetic as he always was, still flicking through the old diary and muttering, although now he had also unearthed a pen and was scribbling notes. “Is that yours?” she asked eventually.</p><p>“Hmm?” He didn’t look up from his note-taking.</p><p>“That diary,” she said. “Is it your own? Or is it a story, written by someone else?”</p><p>“If it was, I’d write a strongly worded criticism to the author.” He capped the pen and scrutinised his work. “It’s rather lacking in crucial details.”</p><p>“Is it anything I can help with?” she asked. “I’m very good at remembering names, if you’ve forgotten any.”</p><p>Finally the Doctor looked up and smiled at her kindly. “I’m afraid not, Victoria,” he said. “It’s a matter of… well. It’s just that I forgot to write down a few very important notes about when we first met you.”</p><p>“Oh.” Her fingers tightened around the book in her hands. Suddenly the mood did not seem quite so dreamy to her. “Notes about… about what my father was doing?”</p><p>“No, not exactly,” he replied. “More so the Dalek's experiment, and my part in the whole affair. I made some extraordinary discoveries that night, you know, things that could change the way Daleks are fought!” He sighed. “But of course I left all my notes behind. And the entry I wrote the next day isn’t helpful in the least!”</p><p>“Why? What does it say?” It wasn’t that she wanted to be reminded of that horrible time, really, but perhaps he’d written down something her father had said or done, something new to add to her memory of him.</p><p>“It’s just a lot of nonsense,” the Doctor grumbled. </p><p>“Then you can tell me what it says,” Victoria countered.</p><p>The Doctor hesitated, tapping his fingers together. He glanced at her and then at Jamie, who for all the world looked like he’d fallen asleep against the window. “It’s only that I was quite upset when I wrote the whole thing down,” he said. “Most of it is about, ah, well, a fight that Jamie and I had. There’s nothing at all about the precise formulae for the human factor!”</p><p>That certainly wasn’t what she’d been expecting. “You had an argument?” she asked. “But I thought you said you were never really angry at each other!”</p><p>“I did say I could never truly be angry with Jamie, yes,” he said, and looked faintly stricken as he did, “but I’m afraid it doesn’t quite work the other way. I almost thought he would leave, for a short while.”</p><p>It was hard for Victoria to even imagine Jamie being properly upset with the Doctor. For all that they would tease and snap at each other, the barbed words always held a layer of affection and amusement, and grudges were never held for longer than a few moments. To think that at some point there had been actual strife between them, serious enough that Jamie would consider <em> leaving… </em></p><p>“I don’t believe it,” she said firmly. “What could possibly cause such an argument between you two?”</p><p>He looked down at his hands, twisting his fingers together. “I told you, Victoria, I’m far from infallible. Suffice to say, the way I acted at the time made that very clear to Jamie, and he certainly didn’t hesitate to tell me so.” He chuckled, but it was a sad little sound.</p><p>“Well, what did he say? It can’t have been so bad.”</p><p>“Oh, that I was callous -- emotionless and cold. That I didn’t care for anything but myself. Things I hadn’t heard in quite some time. I’m really very nice, these days, and, well, you can see why I might be upset, even if I may have possibly deserved it.”</p><p>Victoria would have laughed, if he didn’t seem so sad as he spoke. Emotionless? The Doctor was as excitable as a child, as anxious as a maiden aunt, and never so much of these things as when he was in Jamie’s presence. And that Jamie of all people would believe he didn’t care for the people around him… she thought of the gentle way he had tilted up her chin and spoken to her last night. “I’m sure he didn’t mean any of it,” Victoria said, trying to be anything as reassuring for him as he had been for her. “He knows you care for him a great deal, if nothing else.”</p><p>The Doctor nodded, and then propped his chin in his hands, gaze drifting back to where Jamie slept on, oblivious to the conversation. “Yes, I do hope so,” he said quietly, and his tone was so wistful that it gave Victoria pause. A strange thought was occurring to her, but -- surely not.</p><p>“Doctor…” she began to ask. His eyes cut back to hers, and she lost her nerve instantly. “Never mind.”</p><p>“Hmm.” And just like that he went back to his diary, uncapping his pen and tapping it against the pages once more, muttering and scribbling to himself, leaving Victoria to the new idea slowly forming in her mind.</p><p>The Doctor cared for Jamie a great deal, that was indeed obvious to anyone who knew them, even briefly. She’d even thought of them with the word ‘besotted’ once or twice, at times when they’d cling to each other or smile at each other in a certain way. These things had suddenly collided in her mind with the newly gained knowledge that the Doctor was romantically attracted to men, and a startling conclusion was being drawn against her will. Surely she was assuming too much -- Prince Den’iue and his new husband were fresh on her mind still, and it was making her see things that weren’t there. And even if the Doctor did feel such things, Jamie certainly wouldn’t…</p><p>But even as she thought it, recent memories were popping back into her mind’s eye in this startling new light. How jealous he had been over people’s insistance on physical affection with the Doctor, how he’d all but draped himself over the man when the Chancellor had tried to convince him to stay. How he’d scowled in the same way then as he had when the Doctor had mentioned his childhood friend, Victoria realised now, jealous of a former love, relieved when the Doctor had told him it was in the distant past. The dazed look as the Doctor had held his hand to tie up the yo-yo string. How it had been so similar to the one he’d worn when he’d had fled the room yesterday, pink-cheeked, and only now did she realise he hadn’t been thinking of Kirsty McLaren when she’d told him of how lovely it would be to marry a friend.</p><p>Oh, she thought. <em> Oh. </em></p><p>
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</p><p>The quiet afternoon turned to quiet night, and not long after, the Doctor shooed Victoria off to fetch them dinner, shaking Jamie awake as she left. But the cabin was empty when Victoria returned, just like the night before. She put the plates on the desk and picked up the small card left on the desk, seeing the Doctor’s uneven scribble written on it. <em> Gone stargazing! </em>it said. Smiling to herself, she hurried to the door to the platform only to pause, hand on the doorknob, hesitating for just a moment before opening the door just a crack.</p><p>It was dark outside, and all she could hear was the sounds of the wind and the wheels against the track, but as with last night, the disorientation faded as her eyes and ears adjusted. She could make out Jamie first, his pale collared shirt more visible against the night than the Doctor's large black coat, and eventually the image resolved itself into the two of them standing with their backs to the door, leaning against the railing and staring up into the sky.</p><p>She wondered if the Doctor was pointing out the sun to Jamie, too. If it was making him feel as small and lonely as she had felt. As she watched, Jamie reached up and put a hand on the Doctor’s shoulder and shuffled closer.</p><p>It wouldn’t do to interrupt them, really. She kept the door open a crack and leant against the wall, sliding down until she was curled up just inside the door.</p><p>She thought they might be speaking, at least. The way they tilted their heads, shifted their shoulders, made it seem as if a conversation was taking place, although their voices were being carried off into the night they faced. It felt strangely intrusive, watching them. This wasn’t a friendly little argument they’d got caught up in and forgotten she was there, nor a heartfelt moment that she just so happened to be present for. This felt different in a way she couldn’t define, in a way tangled up in what she thought she knew now.</p><p>The Doctor looked to Jamie then, his face caught in profile, the dim light of the moon and the stars catching on the sadness in his eyes, in the wistful uptilt of his mouth. Whatever he’d said, it took Jamie a moment to react, but when he did, he turned his whole body towards the Doctor, reaching out to grasp his shoulders, holding on tightly.</p><p>She almost jumped to hear his voice, audible now that he wasn’t speaking out into the rushing wind, although still faint enough that she pressed closer to the door to listen. “What do you mean, ‘while you can’?” he was saying. “It’s not like the stars are going anywhere, are they?”</p><p>“No,” the Doctor said. “Not anytime soon. But I don’t mean the stars, Jamie, I mean <em> you.” </em></p><p>“Eh?” His face was turned away from Victoria, but she could read confusion in every line of his body. “Where am I going, then? ‘Cause it’s not anywhere without you.”</p><p>As he spoke, something of the terrible sadness that Victoria had seen in him last night came over the Doctor’s face, and he took Jamie’s hands and squeezed them together in his own. “Oh, but you will go one day, don’t you see, Jamie? You’ll grow tired of, of the constant danger I put you in, of getting hurt because of me. You’ll find a place where you can live your life, a person you can spend your life with, and you’ll leave. And I’ll let you go.” He turned his face away, back up to the night sky. “I’ll have to let you go.”</p><p>Everything in Victoria wanted to burst from her hiding place and throw her arms around the Doctor, apologise for everything she had said and felt that made him say these things with such sad confidence. She wanted to assure him that she wouldn’t leave, but the awful fact was that she knew she would. It was as if he knew she was there, listening in like a child, and was speaking to her directly, not Jamie. </p><p>Jamie, who was still and silent for only a moment before he snorted, shoulders shaking a little as he broke into a laugh. The Doctor looked back at him and scowled.</p><p>“Don’t laugh at me!” he said, and Jamie laughed harder.</p><p>“”I can’t help it,” he said. “You seem so clever, and then you go and say the daftest things.”</p><p>“The daftest--! What’s daft about anything I’ve said?”</p><p>“That you think anything or anyone could be better for me than you,” Jamie replied immediately. “That I’d not want to stay with you, forever. That anyone wouldn’t.”</p><p>The Doctor simply blinked at him in shock for a few moments, before coughing roughly. “Ben and Polly didn’t,” he said, almost too softly for Victoria to hear. “Most people don’t.”</p><p>“Aye, well. They weren’t me, were they,” Jamie replied. His voice was firm and confident, and the Doctor finally smiled, placing a hand on his cheek.</p><p>“They weren’t,” he agreed, and went quiet.</p><p>Victoria was holding her breath, she realised, caught up in the sudden expectant feeling of the moment. She found herself caught between wanting to leave, no longer willing to intrude upon such an intimate moment, and knowing that if she did, she risked alerting them to her presence and ruining this vulnerable and fragile thing. It was important, whatever was to happen next, she could feel it.</p><p>“Doctor…” Jamie’s voice was hardly loud enough to hear over the wind. “All those things you talked about, with seeing people’s feelings and auroras and that…”</p><p>“Auras, Jamie, it’s--”</p><p>“Aye, that. Do you -- you know how I feel, don’t you? About you, I mean.”</p><p>The Doctor lowered his eyes, dropped his hand from Jamie’s face to curl in his collar instead. “I don’t know,” he said. “I don’t like to peek. But today, you… I thought perhaps I was just, ah, seeing what I wanted to see.”</p><p>“And what was that, then?” Victoria could hear the smile in his voice, quiet as it was, but the Doctor shook his head, eyes still averted from Jamie’s.</p><p>“Don’t make me say it,” he said softly, almost pained.</p><p>There was a moment of stillness, and Victoria almost thought that was where the conversation would end, halted in its tracks, until Jamie nodded.</p><p>“Alright,” he said, “I’ll tell you.”</p><p>He leant forward as he spoke, so close that the Doctor’s face was almost obscured, but Victoria still saw his eyes go wide right before Jamie took his face in his hands and kissed him. </p><p>It happened quickly, ending long before Victoria’s surprise faded -- and the Doctor’s, if his rapid blinking indicated anything. Jamie pulled back, hands still framing the Doctor’s face, thumbs brushing his cheekbones in what could have been an affectionate caress or a nervous twitch.</p><p>“Did that sound right?” he said, half-joking. The Doctor simply blinked at him some more. He seemed completely at a loss for words, something Victoria didn’t think she’d ever seen before. She didn’t think Jamie had, either, as he continued, nervously, “I can’t do the talking for both of us, you know, I’m not that clever. Say <em> something,</em> Doctor, just -- tell me I didn’t ruin everything, again?”</p><p>At last, the Doctor unfroze. “Oh,” he said, “oh, of course not, Jamie, never, I…” He lifted a shaking hand and ran his fingers through Jamie’s hair, a smile slowly breaking over his face until he was beaming. “I think that might be the cleverest thing you’ve ever said.”</p><p>Jamie huffed a laugh, shoulders slumping as the tension drained from him. “The maddest thing, maybe.”</p><p>“Well, I don’t know about that.” The Doctor cupped his hand behind Jamie’s neck and tilted his head until their foreheads were touching, their noses brushing. “Perhaps you could say it again, just to check.”</p><p>Slowly and carefully, Victoria closed the door, and went back to their room as silently as possible. But even if she’d made all the noise she could, she didn’t think they would have noticed.</p><p>
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</p><p> </p><p>It was odd to think of this as a journey coming to an end, but that was how it felt in her heart as the train began to slow early the next morning. She’d been woken up ten minutes beforehand by Jamie and the Doctor bickering over who was responsible for the lost yo-yo, and the fond irritation in their voices was so familiar that she’d stayed still under the covers for a few minutes more just listening, hiding her smile in her pillow. For anything that may have changed last night, it seemed that there was far more that never would.</p><p>Which was why it felt odd to mourn the short time they’d spent aboard the train, really. It wasn’t as if this was the end of anything; from the train, they’d wander over the fields outside this town until they found the TARDIS, and then they’d step inside and instantly be whisked away to continue a far grander journey. But all the same, a small part of her was saying that something had ended here, like she’d just felt the first autumn breeze after a long, heady summer. </p><p>Perhaps it was the acceptance settling in her heart that one day soon, she’d no longer be a part of this journey. That this sweet little respite was just that: a respite from the frightening, exhausting, dangerous things they saw every day of their strange and unique lives… a life that she now knew she couldn’t live forever.</p><p>“Just make sure we have everything we came aboard with,” the Doctor was saying while Jamie rolled his eyes.</p><p>“You’re the only one who ever carries anything,” he replied, but he carefully gathered up Victoria’s bag of spare clothing as he did so. “Are you alright, Victoria?”</p><p>She’d been staring at him, she realised, and quickly shook her head with a smile. “Of course!” she said brightly. He grinned and nudged her with an elbow.</p><p>“Ready to leave, I reckon,” he said.</p><p>“Yes,” she replied, “I think I am.”</p><p>They bundled down the corridor, brushing past fellow travellers and apologising, grabbing onto each other's hands as they skirted a knot of conversing Galac’dians, until finally they reached the large sliding doors that let out onto the station platform. The Doctor and Jamie stepped out immediately, bumping shoulders as they stretched and laughed in the sunshine, and for one last time, Victoria hesitated.</p><p>It had been wonderful, this golden little bubble of time that was their train ride home. But as the Doctor had taught her in so many ways, moving on from something didn't have to mean leaving it behind.</p><p>“Victoria?” Jamie asked. He was holding out a hand to her. She breathed in the sweet summery air and took his hand, and let him guide her off the train.</p><p>“It’s such lovely weather,” the Doctor sighed, crowding in so that he and Jamie were bracketing Victoria with their shoulders. “How nice to have a walk to look forward to.” He smiled, a tad wistful. “Going home the long way round, eh?”</p><p>“I can’t think of anything nicer,” Victoria said, and she meant every word.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>this started as a fun little thing i wrote during long hospital shifts, and turned into an essay on why i love victoria waterfield. cant say i regret this. thank u for the lovely comments and stay safe out there everyone!!</p>
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